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(see JokeForm, JokeTemplate)
-- MattWalsh - 20 Dec 2001
| Joke Name | Summary | Type | date |
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Results from Main web retrieved at 07:43 (GMT)
real life stories of people trying Dave's Insanity Hot Sauce are just as funny (if sometimes a bit off color). Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK ...
Thanks to Carl Schattke and John Yates! Step 1: Remove shoes. Step 2: Place metal ladder in water. Step 3: Begin using power tools while standing barefoot on metal ...
Junk Food Junkie Larry Groce Written by Larry Groce Released by Warner Bros. Records in 1976; playing time, 3:03 Was Groce's only hit, making it as high as #9 on the ...
Was it really that historic?
You Know You're from New York When... You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license. You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are ...
from Dale Riley Liberals, Conservatives, and Southerners How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners? Pose the following question ...
Yes, this is a story Commentary here A public address by Roane County High School Principal, Jody McLoud, before a football game last year. RCHS is in Kingston ...
from http://xahlee.org/UnixResource dir/freebooks.html "I liken starting one's computing career with Unix, say as a undergraduate, to being born in East Africa. It ...
Yes, there was a book written about me...
Ok, this is not really a joke; these are actual signs. These prized photos of mine were taken on a Zachary's outing with my dad.
found here by JohnYates... You are bidding on a 600 Watt AMP 2, twelve inch MTX subwoofers in an enclosed box. This system is pretty sweet, its got loud distinct ...
"Windows is a 32 bit shell to a 16 bit operating system, originally designed for an 8 bit processor with a 4 bit bus by a two bit company that can't stand one bit ...
GulfWarEpisode.jpg
Soon to be Iraqi newlyweds sit under a poster of Saddam Hussein in Baghdad before the start of a group wedding of 155 couples Monday, Oct. 21, 2002. Each received ...
taken from Website because I liked them so much and couldn't risk letting them vanish! (Spoiler): most of these work by at some point dividing by a quantinty equivalent ...
by Sylvana Foa Palestine 101 A Short Take on a Long History July 31 August 6, 2002 JAFFA—Have you heard the one about Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Chairman Yasir ...
Strowski: Our government wants you to return... to continue your experiments there. Where you can have everything at your disposal. Bela (as Vornoff): My dear Professor ...
2. I live in my own little world, but it's ok, everyone knows me here. 3. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem ...
1) Budweiser beer conditions the hair 2) Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish 3) Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 min 4) Mayonnaise will kill ...
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket in a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then ...
Originally from the following URLs. But I HAD to grab this thing it was too precious not to preserve for all posterity. This has to be turned into a movie! http ...
Given that Al Gore has no job, he decided to take a sightseeing vacation to Europe. While visiting Europe, he is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her ...
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig; you both get dirty but the pig likes it Comprehending Engineers ...
PKD's thoughts on infinity, and the futility of trying to reason out the existence of God... "God manifested himself to me as the infinite void; but it was not the ...
What Really Happened to the Titanic Of all tales of the supernatural, this one is perhaps the best documented, the most disturbing and the most difficult to explain ...
from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams Quote Directory Maintained by Nick Humphries, u2nmh #64;csc.liv.ac.uk I thought that since alt.fan.pratchett ...
You have to work out what the letters mean. See No 0 as an example. According to MENSA, if you get 23 of these, you are a "genius". Only 2 MENSA members achieved full ...
Here's the solution to help Florida voters in the next election...
arkwelcomesign.jpg:
This shirt plays on the fact that nothing that the government forbids exporting products using certain encryption techniques evidently by classifying them as munitiions ...
cigars.gif:
Feudalism:You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.Fascism:You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you ...
Not really a joke, but this picture came from an auction where the seller sold items he located from within his couch (where mice probably live). I love his lovingly ...
(from Peter Van Horn) Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey ...
Stumped? For a graphical explanation, I've exaggerated the situation with really small squaers click here to see it.
For fun, replace 'string' with Southbend 1 The Monty Python String Marketing Sketch: Wapcaplet: Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah, welcome to Mousebat ...
an old internet joke I finally located and reproduce for you here... I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3 cylinders of asphalt tearing ...
Why Christmas? There was once a man who didn't believe in God, and he didn't hesitate to let others know how he felt about religion and religious holidays, like Christmas ...
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told ...
Here's a little part of US history which makes you go hmmm.... Have a history teacher explain this If they can. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress ...
NEWSPAPER READERS The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country. ...
RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to ...
Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I told him how happy ...
Pictures I found that inadvertantly look like something else. Hope you find em cool too. Looks like white ducks in the audience to me!:
Here's some fun eye teasers. bentlinespuzzle.gif: circlesPuzzler.gif:
I AM THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA I am the flag of the United States of America. My name is Old Glory. I fly atop the world's tallest buildings. I ...
Women just will never understand the depth of a man's thought process(s). GENDER Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named ...
Element Name: WOMANIUM Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time ...
A piece of history that is worth reading. Take out a one dollar bill and look at it. The one dollar bill you're looking at first came off the presses in 1957 in ...
You Know You're From The Bay Area When #8230; 1. Your household income is $140,000 and you can't afford shoes for the kids. 2. You think anything slower than DSL ...
On a Plumbers truck : "We repair what your husband fixed." Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us ...
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope Time between slipping on ...
Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide ...
A man piloting a hot air balloon discovers he has wandered far off course and is hopelessly lost. He descends to a lower altitude and locates a man down on the ground ...
2. Man who run in front of car get tired. 3. Man who run behind car get exhausted. 6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. 7. Man with ...
Ok, Folks. Texas has given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this election finished. Now Texas has decided that we might just take matters into our own hands ...
Noah's Ark Story All I will ever need to know I learned from the Noah's Ark story: One. Don't miss the boat. Two. Remember that we are all in the same ...
from Nancy Walsh. Joke came out during the Gore/Bush election recount fiasco... I wanted you to know that my fortune is impending. Last week I purchased a lottery ...
from Bill Bopp AlGoreithm (n: al gor ith m): Any method of calculation performed repeatedly until a desired result is produced.
from Jennifer Walsh I've heard of some of these things but I hope they're not all true!!! Yikes! ...
This ones even more fun... DAILY MOMENT OF ZEN 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, ...
US NAVY EP 3 DOWNS CHINESE FIGHTER In a heroic dogfight over international waters off the mainland China coast, A 60's era American built Lockheed Electra propeller ...
from Mark Molloy A New School Prayer ~ Friday night at the Shannon Football Game the prayer before the game had to be omitted, because of the Supreme Court Ruling ...
Today I am mourning the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense, AKA C.S., lived a long life but died from heart failure at the brink of ...
You have just received the "Polish Virus"!!! As we do not have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on ...
Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an ...
Be Fishers of Men.... You catch 'em, He'll Clean 'em. A clean conscience makes a soft pillow. A family altar can alter a family. A lot of kneeling ...
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average person's ...
A Realistic Look At Job Descriptions An ADULT is a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. CANNIBAL Someone who is fed up with ...
An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the farmer, " It was ...
A quick test of intelligence. Don't cheat! Because if you did, the test would be no fun. I promise, there are no tricks to the test. Read this sentence: FINISHED FILES ...
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so ...
The citrus soda 7 UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles. Mosquito repellents ...
(this actually came from a joke page on the Craig Charles (Lister) home page. Mixed metaphors are a pain in the neck and should be thrown out the window. Subject ...
Stroustrup C 'interview' On the 1st of January, 1998, Bjarne Stroustrup gave an interview to the IEEE's Computer magazine. Naturally, the editors thought he would ...
In Japan, Sony Computers have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry, each only 17 syllables . . . ...
The Top 25 Alabama Country Songs of All Time..... 25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure ...
An atom walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, "Give me a double." The bartender replies, "A double? Is there something wrong?" The atom says ...
Topic revision: r3 - 24 Jan 2002 - MattWalsh
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