NEWSPAPER READERS
 
  The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
 
  The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
 
  The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the
 country.
 
  USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but
 don't understand the Washington Post.
 
  The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the
 country, if they could spare the time.
 
  The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
 country.
 
  The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
 running the country.
 
  The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the
 country, as long as they do something scandalous.
 
  The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there
 should be a country at all.
 
  The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country.