** On a Plumbers truck : "We repair what your husband fixed."

** Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

** At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

** At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

** In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
     and take appropriate action."

** On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

** At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
     you've come to the right place."

** On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

** In a veterinarian's waiting room : "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

** At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your
     bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

** In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."